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With the talk of scale wieght...


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Having lived for many years both around the Gulf Coast and now close to Appalachia, I would guess that Cajun math and hillbilly math are quite similar.

Are they anything like Redneck math???

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

A: '65 Ford Fairlane, B: '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or C: '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 23 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator out on the front porch in the entire state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man in Tennessee owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during that shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

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Have any of our local physicists noticed that weight is not spelled wieght? (No offense Bill.....) :lol:

I am not being sarcastic, I just woke up from a nap and found this topic.

Now I am going back to sleep before I start having high school flashbacks about those two trains on opposite coasts!!

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!

Mike

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Are they anything like Redneck math???

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

Answer. 3.4 inches.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

A: '65 Ford Fairlane, B: '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or C: '64 Pontiac GTO.

Answer. A. Everyone knows that a Ford rusts faster than a Dodge.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

Answer. 20. One radiator per one gallon of shine.

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 23 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

Answer. Heaven knows because at the end of the day all who drank the Buds will be passed out and they will have to start over the next day and it starts all over again like the first day.

5. If every old refrigerator out on the front porch in the entire state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

Answer. None because when the guys who drank all those Buds let out the gas built up from those Buds it will nullify the R-12 gas.

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

Answer. None, because the dogs are smarter than the builders of the porch.

7. A man in Tennessee owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

Answer. Yep. Sure can. When you place a mobile home on a hill you have to level the thang so that takes care of the 15% slope.

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

Answer. How can a vehicle strike anythang with a muffler when the vehicle doesn't have any arms to hold somethin with. Now if there are a person in this vehicle while it's runnin wild down the hill, he would be to busy yellin get out of the way I'm in this thang an it ain't got no brakes.

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during that shift?

Answer. None. Those guys ain't gonna smoke anythang when they know that those guys left all that gas in thar from drinkin all them Buds.

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Answer. Depends on how much Buds them guys drink at the local bar.

Dats my story and I'm stickin to it. :D Dan

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Have any of our local physicists noticed that weight is not spelled wieght? (No offense Bill.....) :lol:

I'm told that as you approach the speed of light and time slows, e sometimes doesn't see there's no c there and lets i in.

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Time is relative to mass and speed. The larger the mass and/or the faster you go, the slower time goes. Einstein's theories on this have been proven on the ISS.

Thought I'd take a crack at explaining things.

Another thing many are maybe not understanding, RPM is a measure of how many times an object rotates on it's own axis, not in relation to distance or speed of travel. The more distance between any point on the rotating item and the central axis point, the greater speed at which that point travels. So, given the earth as an example, someone at the north pole will be slowing turning so that they will make one revolution in one day (but travel no distance) while a person on the equator, in relative to the bored north pole stander is whizzing around him at over 1000 miles per hour (but is just as bored because everything else around him is also whizzing right along with him). Thus, the pole guy travels 0 miles in a day while the equator guy has gone well over 24,000 miles. It's when the outside diameter hits the gravel & petroleum products when the RPM get's transmitted into speed and distance relative to the axle.

Of course, you guys realize we are whizzing around an 870,000 mile wide nuclear fission fireball at about 67,000 MPH on the apple-peel thin skin of a rather molten ball of rock???

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